A wedded President is engaging in extramarital relations with his secretary. He is getting dressed as they wrap up. Is there anything else I can assist you with tonight, she asks?

After a brief pause for reflection, the man responds, Give me a hand. Take my shoes outside, and apply grass all over them.

Therefore, his secretary took his shoes and went outside to rub them with grass.

He returns to his wife, who is dismayed that he was away for so long.

When he enters the room, his wife approaches him and asks, “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? ITS 9:00 PM!!!”

Well, I can’t lie to you, he says. My secretary has been having an affair with me.

His wife raises her head after looking down. You lying hypocrite!

You’ve been playing golf once more, haven’t you?”