Sometimes getting into a marriage when you both have children from past relationships could open it up to serious hurdles, like this one where the couple’s individual children performed differently. Social media users sided with the father and thought his wife’s demands could lead to an entitled child.
A Reddit user named SeaNectarine6440 wrote in one of the channels asking for advice in an argument that involved his daughter and his wife’s daughter. When the couple married, each one already had a daughter from previous relationships, and their daughters were a year apart in age.
The man revealed the two girls were complete opposites, with his daughter being more into sports. She is outgoing and athletic, having played softball, volleyball, golf, and basketball, before finding an interest in tennis during middle school.
Tennis became her main sport, with her father paying for her private lessons. After the little girl discovered how much her father had paid for these lessons, she decided to give private lessons as her teenage job.
As a junior and one of the best players on her high school team, she taught elementary school children, charging them $75 per hour each. Her outgoing personality and skills meant she had a waiting list of children who wanted to learn from her, and in a week, she made around $1,200. The father revealed that his daughter could’ve made more, but he limited her hours so she could focus on her schoolwork.
On the other hand, his stepdaughter isn’t athletic and is quite reserved, despite his and her mother’s effort to sign her up for the same sports teams his daughter was in. The teenager either objected or quit within weeks, but the father ensured not to make her feel bad about it since he is aware some people aren’t into sports.
When the stepdaughter turned 16, she got a job at a nearby burger place where she made $13 an hour and less than $200 weekly. Meanwhile, the man’s daughter told him she wished to be independent by buying things like electronics and clothes with her own money.
That meant she could afford the latest gadgets, so she bought herself the most expensive Mac products, leading her stepsister to openly share her jealousy.
While in bed one night, the man’s wife mentioned how unfair it was that one of their children was making more money than the other. He told her that nothing could be done about it and saw their children’s situation as a good life lesson for the pair.
To his surprise, his wife suggested that his daughter use her money to help buy the same things she has for her stepsister and they could cover the difference. The man initially laughed at the suggestion thinking his wife was joking, but she wasn’t.
That led to an hour-long argument before the couple slept. In the morning, his wife brought the issue back up and accused him of playing favorites and being a bad parent. They argued until they left for work.
In an update, the man thanked readers for their input and answered some of their questions. He explained that his stepdaughter was signed up to the same sports as his daughter to try and build a bond between the pair and to get her to meet people.
Most of his stepdaughter’s time was spent playing video games. Her stepfather and mother didn’t force her into anything but rather asked her to try them for some weeks with an option to quit if she didn’t like them. However, the man revealed:
“We tried to get her to sign up for things that she enjoys, but she always refuses.”
Even when they tried signing her up for things she enjoyed, she still refused, and now she didn’t have any marketable skills she could use to become a tutor. Most Reddit users seemed to side with the stepfather in the matter.
What Did Reddit Users Have to Say about the Man’s Predicament?
One Reddit user thought being fair didn’t always mean being equal and felt the stepdaughter was starting out on a typical student career path, unlike the man’s daughter. Forcing the one earning more to fund her stepsister’s lifestyle would also be unfair and the mother should let her daughter figure out her own talents.
Comment
byu/SeaNectarine6440 from discussion
inAmItheAsshole
The reader felt the wife was setting her daughter up for failure with her outlook.
Someone else said the man’s wife was trying to punish his daughter “for her success” while rewarding her child for “complacency.” The reader felt the two girls were sleeping in beds they made and described the man’s wife as “entitled” and “unreasonable” for feeding her daughter’s jealousy by rewarding her.
Another commenter thought the poster wasn’t the bad person in this instance and that his stepdaughter didn’t deserve to benefit from her sister’s hard work. If the man’s wife got her way, it could breed resentment between the children.
Someone else saw it as a good lesson for the girls and that they were both reaping the fruits of their labor. A fifth accused the wife of favoritism in wanting to take money her stepdaughter earned so she could hand it over to her daughter. The reader felt the wife was setting her daughter up for failure with her outlook.
Another Reddit user thought the wife’s idea was “terrible” and urged the couple to encourage the other teenager to learn a skill they could leverage to level the playing field.
If you found this story intriguing, you’re sure to be captivated by this one about a stepmother who forces her stepdaughter to wear a brace because she doesn’t like how the child slouches.
Sounds like a current day cinderella story and wicked step mom and sister. Dads daughter us trying to be responsible for herself meeting her needs first then finally some wants. . (Not sure where her mom is) But step sister thinks she that everyone owes her in life and not needs but wants. Life not fair but if dads daughter wants to use it on her step sister thats her choice. You cant force her. Life is not always what you want, study hard, good education and graduate and get a good job for the things you desire.
You said one reached 16 but never mentioned how old the other daughter was? The only rhing suggested us put some away for a rainy day when you move out. When step mom asks for room and board from you and not her daughter.
Good luck.. stand your ground dad!!!
America is a land of equal opportunity – not equal outcome. If his stepdaughter refuses totake advantage of opportunities presented to her, she has no one to blane for her situation, but herself. As they say, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink it”. It’s the same with opportunities. It sounds to me as if the stepdaughter just wants the rewards, without working for them. Maybe her mom should take a really close up look as her daughte’s lack of ambition.