stories ; A Man Decides To Leave His Wife – Her Reply Is Priceless

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.  You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.

 

Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

 

Your EX-Husband.

 

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

 

 

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.  It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

 

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping.  Too bad that didn’t work.

 

I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment.

 

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

 

About those new silk boxers:  I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

 

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.  So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.

 

Everything happens for a reason, I guess.  I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.

 

My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.  So take care.

 

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

 

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.  I hope that’s not a problem.

Related Posts

Are you a patient of Dr. Bumbutu?

A flat-chested young lady read an article in a magazine that stated Dr. Bumbutu in Africa could enlarge your breasts without surgery. So she decided to go…

Jesus & Moses and an old man go golfing

Jesus, Moses, and an old man go golfing. The first one to tee off is Moses. He smashes the ball and it is heading right for the…

Funny Joke ‣ Life is Mutual

“It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they…

Daughter found a boyfriend

Mr. Evans discovered that her daughter found a boyfriend. Being a protective father that he is, he starts interrogating her about the mystery guy. “Did he finish…

That Rubber Thingy

An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man’s cane slips on…

A woman got married not long after high school

A woman got married not long after high school and her husband broke her heart when he ran off with another woman. She eventually got back into…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *